12:30pm

When I was waiting at the bus stop for a bus to town two blokes in cars hooted their horns at me (oo er). I really have become a babe magnet.

Then along came Mark Bog Gob who I unfortunately made the mistake of going out with in my youth. Well, ten months ago, anyway. He was messing about with his rough mates waiting for the bus. No sign of his midget girlfriend, perhaps he has mislaid her? His mouth is sooo big; how could I have snogged him? And he rested his hand on my basooma. Still, let bygones be bygones. My basoomas were out of his hands now. I was after all the girlfriend of a Sex God and Mark was the boyfriend of some toddler. I smiled kindly at him and that is when he said to me; “You want to be careful not to move to quickly Georgia you’ll have someone’s eye out with those.” And he meant my nunga nungas! And all his mates laughed.

I stood there in a dignity at all times sort of way until the bus came. I sat as far away from the BG and his rough mates as I could…

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