Hello, my long lost chumettes!

Greetings from Billy Shakespeare land!

Blimey, it's been ages, hasn't it? I bet you've all been throwing a strop since you finished reading my last diary. But the nub and gist of it is that I'm too busy—and important—to write another. Although everyone's perfectly entitled to get stroppy if they can't get what they want, there's no need for any of you to have a complete nervy b.—trust me. Now where was I? Oh yes, I'm writing to you this arvie because I've some news that will practically have you dying of excitementosity! As the vair, vair cool and possibly even the intelligent ones among you already know, my little coussy, Tallulah Casey, has decided to take up the challenge of entertaining you lot!

Right now, Tallulah's up in the Yorkshire Dales attending a performing arts college, learning to be a “star of the stage” as she tells me. Apparently this involves a squirrel room, an Irish dancing broomstick, positively feral boys from the neighborhood, tights, and something to do with Em, Chazza, and Anne—otherwise known as the Bronte sisters—and that bloke Billy Shakespeare.

Well, I really must be off. Like I said, I'm as busy as a bee (two bees, really). I hope to find time soon to write you the long and detailed letter you deserve. Until then, remember how much I luuuuurve you—every single cotton-picking one of you, as you'd say in Hamburger-a-go-go land.


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