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Love Is a Many
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Bonjour matelots (as they say in Froggy land, although why they say "Hello, sailors" will always remain a mystery, like eating frog legs and so on). Anyway, where was I before les frenchy types interrupted me? Oh yes, I was saying a merry merry July to you all.
It is me here, your little Billy Shakespeare land pal. Blimey I have been as busy as a bee (two bees), chatting with my pals, practicing puckering up for snogging, and so on. I am full of exhaustosity. But still I bother to come onto the interwebby fiasco to talk to you.
Have you read my new diary,
Love Is a Many Trousered Thing?
It is, believe me, as you will know if you have already read it. Hey, guess what! I have just
realized that it comes out on July 3rd, which is the day before you
"celebrate" chucking all our tea in the sea at Boston and skip off to be independent Hamburgese and so on.
Are you sure you still want to be Hamburgese-type people? If you joined up with us again, you wouldn't have to have
glossaries in the back of your books explaining what "tosser" and
"nuddypants" and "nunga-nungas" mean. Also, you wouldn’t have to go to the
"rest room," you could just go to the piddly diddly department, or the poo parlor division, like us normal people.
But if you insist on going ahead with your little barbecues and fireworks
and July 4th malarkey, do not do what my vati did last Bonfire Night and get your sausages mixed up with
Roman candles. A singed moustache and no eyebrows doesn't look good on anyone—especially a girl.
Anyway, I am relying on you all to go and get
Love Is a Many Trousered Thing
and let me know what you think I should do next. Because as you will see when you read it, you wait ages for one Sex God to come along and then three come along at the same time.......
I have never had a multi-boyfriend situation before I feel like a timeshare girlfriend.
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, and enjoy Hamburger-a-gogo day!
P.S. I still love you. A LOT.
P.P.S. Just as a hint at the sophisticosity of my new work of geniosity, I will just say this:
There is a snot disco dance inferno.
P.P.P.S. And Jas has included hand snogging on the snogging scale. How mad is she? Vair vair mad is the expression you are searching for.
The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson
by Louise Rennison